Gómez Zafra, libertador de Holanda

Juglar del Zipa informa:

El 22 de junio de 2005 será recordado por todos los holandeses de ahora en adelante. El mismo día en que se llevaban a cabo los juegos de octavos de final del mundial juvenil de fútbol, el egregio juglar comercial colombiano Álvaro Gómez Zafra destronó a la tiránica reina Beatriz de Holanda y proclamó la república en el bello país donde muere el Rin cuando dijo «ahora asistamos a la transmisión en directo desde la República de Holanda».

Miles de personas salieron a las calles de Ámsterdam, Rótterdam, Gróninguen y Eindhoven a agitar las banderas republicanas que habían guardado sus antepasados desde tiempos lejanos de la Hansa, allá en el siglo XIII.

«Es el día más feliz de nuestras vidas. Estamos haciendo colectas de llaves y antiguos florines para fundirlos y hacer una estatua en honor de nuestro libertador, don Álvaro», dijo Gus de Kujp, pensionado residente de Amstelveen, suburbio de Ámsterdam.

A manera de homenaje, el grueso republicano de la población holandesa ha donado un euro para traer al veterano locutor de Caracol radio para que visite las bajas tierras holandesas, coma queso, fume bareta del sur de Asia, ordeñe vacas y le haga a una que otra prostituta de la popular zona roja. Eslava, eso sí, porque colombianas ya ha visto muchas.

Se dice que en su viaje a tierras europeas Gómez Zafra, acérrimo enemigo del antiguo régimen, también intentaría sacar del tiránico oscurantismo a Bélgica, país que se encuentra en las manos del temible monarca Alberto II. Y ahí de paso a todos los países nórdicos y hasta se le mediría al Reino Unido y España. La ambición libertadora de Gómez no tiene límites. Entre sus sueños también está unir a todos estos países en uno solo, con una misma moneda para todos y todas esas cosas que ya tiene la Unión Europea.

ÚLTIMA HORA: Se confirma ahora que Gómez Zafra en realidad es el segundo colombiano que derroca a la reina Beatriz de Holanda. Iván Mejía ya lo había hecho en el mundial de Francia en 1998 cuando pronunció la apoteósica consigna «ahora escuchemos el himno de la República de Holanda».

Dedicado a Isaac y Sylvia Wüst, residentes de Amstelveen.

183 comentarios sobre “Gómez Zafra, libertador de Holanda”

  1. El Cuajinais dijo:

    jajajaja… Muy bueno. También han hablado varias veces de la república de España (igual que Bush)

  2. Federico de la Regueira dijo:

    También lo había hecho el narrador Luis Alfredo Hernández, el que ahora presenta los deportes en TelePaís (¿cómo habrá hecho para quitarle un minuto de cámara a Jorge Barón?). Aunque, ahora que (no) recuerdo bien, no estoy seguro de que la gesta comunicativa republicana se haya dado acerca del Reino de Holanda… En fin, esa complejo Bolivariano es común en nuestros “experimentadísimos y profesionales” periodistas deportivos, sobre todo con los “desgraciados” Estados europeos que aún no comparten el gozo de un sistema político “Republicano”.

  3. Juglar del Zipa dijo:

    Cuajinais:
    ¡Huy! Hablar de la República de España sí tiene su poder, es como cuando aquí quieren que ya se decrete la monarquía pero prontico que quiubo a ver.

    Federico de la Regueira:
    Buej… igual Gómez Zafra es una voz comercial y ya. Más bien… ¿cuánto le pagarán a uno por decir que el tiro de esquina lo patrocina Plásticos Pajarito y el saque de banda Confecciones La Morsa?

  4. Eduardo Arias Villa dijo:

    Qué bueno este homenaje a nuestros locutores radiales… No lo pillé a este nuevo maestro de la geopolítica, lástima…
    Hace algunos años Adolfo Pérez se reveló al mundo como un fanático seguidor a ultranza de Cromwell y su Commonwealth al anunciar el himno de la República de Inglaterra. Es decir, hizo un sancocho espectacular pues Inglaterra como tal, sin Gales, Escocia ni Irlanda, pero ya unida, existió si acaso en tiempos de Guillermo el Conquistador.
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  5. Juglar del Zipa dijo:

    Y Rumanía de todos los españoles que se creen franceses y dicen Aamazonía y Orinoquía pero no dicen Colombía ni Bolivía.

  6. Jason V dijo:

    Jajajajaja… muy bueno Juglar!!!!

  7. Sangre Rebelde dijo:

    Muy bueno (perdón por el lugar común, pero qué más puedo decir?) Muy bueno

  8. Sra. Helena Gomez Zafra dijo:

    jaja

    w00t! Sabìa que ese muchacho estaba para grandes cosas.
    Ivàn Mejìa es el sòlo el libertador apòcrifo.

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  10. juglar del zipa » Archivo del weblog » Unas por otras dijo:

    […] ta lustros después, el comentarista deportivo Luis A. Hernández del noticiero Telepaís, siguiendo los pasos de su colega Álvaro Gómez Zafra, es protagonista de un cambio radical en la geopolítica […]

  11. juglar del zipa » Archivo del weblog » Sospechosos de siempre dijo:

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