El nuevo paradigma: sexo, drogas ≠ rock

A propósito de los horribles disturbios que protagonizaron todos esos personajes de Hip Hop al Parque —que son peores que negros porque se creen negros sin serlo—, mucha gente anda defendiendo a Rock al Parque de los señalamientos que se hicieron inmediata y naturalmente en su contra. Cada vez queda más claro para la respetable ciudadanía de este pueblo esencialmente mockusiano, pro zanahorio, que todos los que escuchan cualquier música alejada de las maracas, los bongoes y el acordeón sabanero son unos desadaptados necesariamente violentos y borrachos.

Las cosas, en realidad, comienzan por casa. El festival, como sus defensores, se ha encargado de mostrar como algo completamente diferente a esa imagen que la inmensa mayoría se hace. Pero haciendo eso termina metiéndose en el mismo juego. Si la gente cree que el rock es odio y patadas irracionales entonces el lema del festival es un cursísimo «días de extrema convivencia» o «vida, máximo respeto». Si la gente cree que los que oímos eso que llaman rock somos borrachos y mariguaneros —y, más exactamente, que por eso mismo somos unos irracionales belicosos—, se prohíbe el consumo de alcohol. Lo de las drogas es otra historia.

La otra defensa es decir que los asistentes que la embarran son unos pocos, que así no es la inmensa mayoría. Eso puede ser perfectamente cierto. Pero entonces hay gente que comienza a echarle la culpa al trago como si efectivamente fuera un brebaje lleno de demonios, como solía creerse cuando se inventaron el término «bebidas espirituosas». Nadie critica los bares de cualquier tipo, que son lugares para emborracharse y escuchar música. En los bares el 90% de la gente está borracha o prenda y oyendo música porque a eso van. Y mucha gente, Virgen Santísima, suele tener la iniciativa de consumir sustancias prohibidas.

En los festivales de rock en que he estado (South Side en Alemania y Quilmes Rock en Argentina) se vende cerveza sin problemas. Toca, en primer lugar, porque son patrocinadores. En segundo lugar, al parecer, sencillamente es posible porque la gente no tiene síndrome de posesión. Y probablemente las autoridades no tienen síndrome de exorcista. Claro que hay gente que jode, pero la controlan, como harían en cualquier bar con el que se lo quiera poner de ruana (a veces, como hemos visto, con consecuencias bastante trágicas).

El punto es que prohibir el consumo de alcohol en Rock al Parque es una actitud paternalista y prohibicionista de la Alcaldía y de las autoridades competentes, que se declaran abiertamente así. Pero también es una forma de señalar a los asistentes como gente esencialmente irresponsable porque escuchan un determinado tipo de música. Eso es lo más grave. No es para nada descabellado decir que sí hay gente que realmente cree que el rock es música del demonio y que escucharlo aliena el alma más allá del Purgatorio. Y quienes dicen eso probablemente jamás han escuchado doom, death, thrash o black metal sino a los mariconazos de Def Leppard. O vivían por el lado del Campín en diciembre de 1992, cuando recuerdo muy bien que todos los noticieros mostraban alguna nota sobre lo satánicos que eran los Guns ‘n Roses.

Los policías y las autoridades competentes no tienen la empresa de acabar con Rock al Parque o con el fútbol, como ya acabaron con la rumba más allá de las dos de la mañana, porque haya unos cuantos desadaptados. El fondo de todo esto es una actitud conservadora —que por aún tener cabida hoy es retrógrada— y homogenizante debidamente cobijada por el imbécil prejuicio, compartido por la inmensa mayoría de ciudadanos de esta ciudad de mierda, de que todo tiene que ser «para toda la familia». Andrés López sí cuenta chistes sanos —clasistas pero sanos—, en cambio Gonzalo Valderrama es un señor muy grosero. En los estadios antes no se oía ni una grosería y la gente se está putiando. En las obras del Festival de Teatro salen niñas empelotas y no hay payasos para mis pequeños. El cine nacional es pura violencia y no hay lindas historias en que Colombia sea pasión. Largo etc.

Por eso quiero cerrar esto con dos frases del más puro odio de Odio a Botero, grupo que fue censurado alguna vez en la también siempre muy bienpensante Medellín de tiempos de Fajardo porque cómo así que alguien odiaba a ese egregio precursor de Shakira y Juanes:

En la calle o el colegio
siempre te encuentras con algunos ineptos,
con soldados, policías
o algunos sapos que se creen de la CIA.
Y con ellos debemos acabar.
Mátalos y reclama un celular.

217 Responses to “El nuevo paradigma: sexo, drogas ≠ rock”

  1. maria paula Says:

    Comentario facho del día: En Rock en Seine era lindo que todos anduvieran borrachos, drogados, vomitados etc. y yo me sentia segura porque en ningun momento me senti amenazada por alguna puñalada.

  2. o-lu Says:

    jajaja Maria Paula, no nos dijiste eso.

  3. AgustinaB Says:

    Por eso es que los colombianos somos como somos, muy cliché pero muy cierto, a nosotros nos acostumbraron a que “nuestro” gobierno y “nuestras” fuerzas armadas y/o militares son los que deben estar pendientes del comportamiento que tengamos loc civiles y de regular las acciones que ejerzamos 24/7, eso que dice mi abuela de que no funcionamos si no tenemos la policía encima es tal cual, y es que si no tenemos esa imagen plenipotencial y todopoderosa que, o nos infunda miedo y presión para no actual “mal”, o nos represente este orden al que hay que desafiar y romper, pues no podemos llevar la fiesta en paz.

    Hace un tiempo pensaba en qué pasaría si al estadio el Campín se le quitaran las mallas de contención, la gente se vería la cara con su libre albedrío y tendría que decidir si se controla y se comporta en medio de esa libertad o abusa de ella, entonces no necesítaríamos mas figuras de poder mas allá que nostros mismos, no mas tombos esperando el papayaso para cagarse a golpes al que se pase la franja.

    Igual con la venta de licor en estos eventos masivos, no se vende porque es como darle una cosedora a un niño de dos años, no se le da porque se va a ser daño y nuestro estado paternalista no va a darnos nada “políticamente incorrecto” para que nos hagamos daño, y la culpa es nuestra también, porque mas allá de que la autoregulación sea una utopía, siempre le estamos echando la culpa a ese mismo estado de las cosas malas que hacemos, nunca nos hacemos responsables de nuestros actos, las peleas entre comandos y sureños son solo culpa del padre Alirio y de Goles en Paz, el mal uso del transmilenio no es porque no somos concientes del tiempo y de esa palabrita de kinder “FILA”, no, la culpa solo del sistema pésimamente planificado.

    Y entonces aqui vendrán las excusas, que no se vende licor porque hay menores de edad, porque la gente se enloquece, porque pitos flautas y flautas pitos, y entonces para que hacerme responsable de mi si hay quién lo sea…

    Precisamente anoche leyendo “5 en humor” de María Teresa Ronderos encontré algo que contaba Jaime Garzón cuando tuvo como tarea traducir la constitución a lenguas indígenas con la comunidad Wayú.

    “Ellos se reunían. Uno iba con traductor y les decía: Nosotros tenemos una constitución y en el artículo 11 dice: “Nadie podrá ser sometido a pena cruel, trato inhumano y desaparición forzada”. Es increible que la constitución de un país diga eso, Es lo mismo que uno llegue a una casa de visita y le digan que por favor no se suene con el mantel. Uno pensaría, ¡¡No pues, los que viven en esta casa son unas bellezas!!. Y los indígenas tradujeron ese artículo de la siguiente forma: “Nadie podrá llevar por encima de su corazón a nadie, ni hacerle mal en su persona, aunque piense o diga diferente”. Con ese artículo que nos aprendamos salvamos a este país; o veríamos un país mínimamente más agradable.”

  4. nomeacuerdo Says:

    ¿Pero no se supone que Juanes es Rock?

    Juanes es un tipo bien y Colombia es un pais de gente bonita y queridísima.

  5. yassef Says:

    De acuerdo y apoyo el comentario de AgustinaB.

    Tres cosas:

    Fui testigo de una paliza que le dieron a un amigo por estar “bajo efectos de yerba” por parte de dos policías (como 10 años atrás), él era el único mayor de edad del grupo, los señores de verde, ante la queja que se impuso por abuso, aseguraron que nuestro amigo “NOS ESTABA DANDO MAL EJEMPLO”, y por eso no paso NADA, nada más que los moretones y raspones de mi amigo. Osea ellos nos estaban cuidando!

    Fui testigo, en un concierto de Los Fabulosos Cadillacs, en el Campín, donde a los primeros de la fila los hacían pasar por debajo del CABALLO, esos grandes que tienen los policías, todo disque por que al agacharnos, podían ver si teníamos algo guardado. En esa ocasión todo el mundo se fue en contra de la policía, y por poco la idiotez de los de verde provoca un verdadero accidente ante tanta estupidez. No fueron más de cinco los que pasaron por debajo del animal ese, pero fue un intento estúpido y ANIMAL de “controlar” el ingreso de drogas.

    JuglarDelZipa, yo agregaría la estúpida LEY o REGLA de terminar cualquier concierto a las 10:00pm, y Transmilenio a las 11:00pm, una disque Capital, como Bogotá que no puede gozar un concierto a media noche, salir y encontrar transporte, todo por que de pronto hacen cosas malas para los buenos ciudadanos.

    NODA: Su RSS ahora no me deja leer el Post completo desde el Reader, voto para que lo deje completo.

  6. juglar del zipa Says:

    yassef:
    uno se pregunta por las razones que no “permiten” que (o que sencillamente explican por qué) la ciudad esté abierta las 24 horas. no es que sea toda la ciudad, pero qué es ese miedo a la noche? es una ciudad con policía de la colonia en que hay que protegerse del sereno (que lo presentan como si fuera un fantasma) y de los panches que vienen del valle del magdalena. y de las chicherías y la vida en perdición. todos a misa, mejor. pero también está el miedo a la falta de demanda.

    mejor no abrir un negocio hasta tan tarde porque la gente no va. entonces mejor no ponemos transmilenio en la madrugada porque la gente no lo va a usar. entonces no abramos el bar porque si no hay transmilenio… y así.

    lo del rss no sé cómo funciona. creo que mejor me puede ayudar usted.

  7. Sergio Méndez Says:

    Totalmente de acuerdo con el gruñon. Sólo una consideración, si existe un licor que es esencialmente maligno: el Wisky. Su correlación de consumo con magnates de wallstreet, gobernadores coloniales británicos, directivos de futbol y políticos en general es prueba de ello.

  8. blueandtanit (unknown II) Says:

    curiosamente, este post es leido con un “simpathy for the devil” de fondo…
    yo admito que amo la cerveza, me pregunto por qué no prohiben en trago en los pueblos, donde una fiesta popular se prende con aguardiente y termina en pelea de machete.

    acá son felices dándole mala imagen a los rockeros, entonces si alguien mata y escucha reggaeton o algo “normal”, no hay problema, pero si un skin mata a un emo en un bar, entonces esos rockeros son unos satánicos y asesinos… quien sabe qué hicieron con la sangre del pobre muchacho.

    pero es cierto, lo que trasciende, y en verdad nos tiene jodidos es el conservatismo arraigado, que censura esas películas en que colombia no es pasión, tachándolas de malas películas, entre muchas otras cosas.

    saludos don miguelito.

  9. julian Says:

    esta republiqueta no es mas que una finca grande. El patrón en la casa regaña a gritos a su hija por sonreirle al hijo de la cocinera y la manda a dormir temprano después de la oración mientras se lava las manos de sangre después de resolver un “problemita” que tenia con un abusivo que quería correrle una cerca.

  10. Ustedyasabe Says:

    Se le agradece la apología.
    g
    PD. Se escribe “Thrash” (el género metalero, ¿no?)

  11. Luis Says:

    “son peores que los negros”

  12. juglar del zipa Says:

    yonoséaún:
    ah, sí, señor, gracias.

    luis:
    a mí me encanta no hacer aclaraciones.

  13. Daeron Calafas Says:

    Yo soy fan del Maiden y ahora que vinieron a colombia se vivieron estas cosas:
    - Gente acampando 1 semana antes para entrar (Que no se supone que si tienes tu boleto tienes asegurada tu entrada?; la respuesta es NO)
    - Carencia total de logistica por parte de los organizadores en el evento.
    - Venta de alcohol en la fla de acceso (Ya los pseudo metaleros estaban briagos y vomitados antes de entrar)
    - Aventones, tumultos y cero de orden en el acceso que permitio la entrada de muchisima gente sin boleto.
    - Policia antimotines amedrentando en la fila a los que pretendiamos ingresar (Mientras en el acceso brillaban por su ausencia).

    Esto y muchas cosas mas hicieron posible que muchos nos quedaramos fuera con el boleto comprado y con ganas de ver a la banda; demostrandose asi la barbarie y el bestialismo del publico colombiano (por algunos pagan todos) que no se pueden comportar y no estan preparados para este tipo de eventos (Al mas puro estilo de cualquier pais bananero, salsero y regettonero).
    Con este antecedente me atrevo a sugerir que bandas de ese calibre no vengan hasta que se garanticen las condiciones y poder tener un espectaculo decente.
    Yo he estado en conciertos de Black, Doom, Trash, Heavy, Progresivo en otros paises y es la primera vez que veo gente comportandose como animales (Pseudo Metaleros y metaleros), tratandose de hacerse los rudos y sacando la mas pura alma ballenata de sus entrañas y exponiendola en publico.

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