Rocket science

Con tristeza encuentro que María Isabel Rueda, en virtud de su frivolidad, podría ser una de las personas más sensatas de este país. Basta con ver su última columna en la que, con un talento indiscutible que yo me negaba a ver, disecciona cada uno de los argumentos que se han usado y posiciones que se han tomado sobre el nombramiento de Pastrana como embajador en Estados Unidos. Y conlcuye que todos son bobadas.

Que Pastrana no tiene principios y es un trepador. Mentira.

Que Uribe compra conciencias y a la oposición. Mentira.

La respuesta es sencilla: Andrés —como ella le dice— necesita oficio y Uribe es un genial estratega.

Y va uno a ver y sí… ¡es verdad! ¿Para qué sacarle pelos a una calavera? ¿Para qué rasgarse las vestiduras? ¿Para qué ponerse bravo y pedir respuestas o hacer denuncias? This is no rocket science: la política en Colombia es frívola y simple, nunca seria. Y así exactamente es mi querida María Isabel.

Para completar, en su «Entretanto» habla de la guerra perdida contra la personalización de la forma impersonal del verbo haber: «habían», «han habido». En ocho días seguramente hablará del neologismo «exenario» y sus derivados. Sólo me queda quitarme el sombrero e irme a llorar en un rincón.

122 Responses to “Rocket science”

  1. Arieh Capella Ben Abraham Says:

    ahhhh …opinar en este pais de politica ya da aburricion.

    sigo esperando la Entrevista.

    Kozure

  2. Foucault Says:

    La politica colombiana es una vaina de olla, menos mal se aplica la meritocracia en la que Andresito no tiene competidor (?). Un saludo

  3. Juliette Says:

    Pues, ya lo había escrito por ahí, no me sorprendió el nombramiento de Pastrana; uno de los pocos que aplica la racionalidad a la política en Colombia es Uribe… Y, con respecto a lo de “exenario”: JAJAJAJA esa palabra se está volviendo peligrosamente popular entre los analistas políticos, empezando por Alejo Vargas, que a mi parecer ha sido el encargado de acuñar el término.

  4. Ciudadano Típico Says:

    Juliette. De acuerdo con lo de Alejo Vargas… terrible.

    Juglar. Eliminando el hecho de ser expresidente y ser la oposición y demás, no encuentra a Pastrana perfectamente idoneo y capaz para el cargo?

  5. dontomate Says:

    claro, porque el mundo no lo entiende sino la revista cosmo. eso si, ella podrìa aparecer muy seria en la cosmo o en la maxim, o en la soho o en semana. usted gruñe mucho juglar, gruñe mucho y se va a enfermar. se le olvida que ella siempore atina y ya.

  6. Segio Méndez Says:

    Miguel, ud que trabaja por esos lares debería putearla en nuestro nombre…

  7. elcofrade Says:

    a mi me dio una infdignación el comienzo de esa columna: bobos, pero cómo se les ocurre… no pues que inteligencia la de María Isabel Rueda, que genio, que portento… vieja bruja. Un saludo

  8. juglar del zipa Says:

    Cofrade:

    Eso pensaba yo. Pero es que, hombre, de verdad somos bobos. Es que uno es bobo si gasta más energía de la que de verdad se necesita para decir algo. Esa vieja es un genio porque solo usa lo necesario… de verdad me calló la boca.

  9. Mal Ladrón Says:

    La política colombiana es más simple de lo que la ve la gente que no ha entendido que con ese asunto, en lugar de indignarse, hay que divertirse y tomársela con calma. Como será de simple que hasta una señora tan frívola se puede preciar de tener cierta lucidez. Y para quienes quisieran que el señor Juglar la insultara, una cosa: ella por esos lados no es que mantenga mucho.

  10. juglar del zipa Says:

    Tiene razón el mal ladrón, aunque allá la he visto y me contuve, oh sí.

  11. gonzalo Says:

    Esto me recuerda una frase de una pelicula de Allen: hasta un reloj parado tiene razon dos veces al dia.

  12. Alta impedancia Says:

    Que gran hallazgo este blog…

    Lo que se me hace mas triste, es que la política colombiana llegue a ser tan simple. O mas bien llegue ser entendida como simple cuando en realidad huele bastante mal, (como la política mundial en general). No hay que rasgarse las vestiduras, de acuredo. Pero tampoco aplaudir las respectivas actitudes de Andresito y Alvarito.

    Se los imaginan saliendo cogidos de la mano de un sauna en la 57 con 13???

  13. Dr. Barbarie Says:

    Se disculpo???? Que mal…. uno debe conservar su criterio hasta las ultimas consecuencias. Incluso si los otros que uno critica aparentemente tienen la razon… hay que resistir y morir en su bunker de forma heroica

    Dr. Barbarie

  14. El chico de los Betamáses Says:

    Visité su Buseta y me gustaron algunas camisetas? Cómo hago? buenas, que pa lo de comprar unitas con descuento pal club de lectores del blog?

  15. juglar del zipa Says:

    Señor chico de los betamases:

    Lamentablemente (para usted) la comercializadora buseta ltda. es independiente de juglar del zipa media corporation como quise dejar muy claro en los comentarios a un post de marras (cfr. http://www.juglardelzipa.com/?p=53). En ese sentido es imposible dar descuentos a mis más fieles lectores, como usted.

    Igual no están caras, no joda. Las de marca gato están a 25k y las nuestras a 18k.

    Para lo de comprar solo es que me diga cuáles quiere y ahí vemos si la hay o no y después se la hacemos llegar a su casa o lugar de trabajo, como usted prefiera.

    Suerte.

  16. El chico de los Betamáses Says:

    Ústele, qué atención al cliente tan eficiente. Listo, me voy a echar la pasada “por el local”, eso sí, sin compromiso.

  17. juglar del zipa Says:

    Chico:

    Igual yo sé dónde vive papáááááá.

  18. Segio Méndez Says:

    Dr Barbarie:

    Pero recuerde, morir de forma heroica no es suicidarse como un cobardon..es dar la cara carajo!

  19. Segio Méndez Says:

    “Como un cobardon”..como un Viejo Marica

  20. Federico de la Regueira Says:

    Cada artículo de María Isabel Rueda da para un debate acerca de lo tonta que es esa mujer. Por eso paso por encima de ésto y solo quedo expectante sobre un reporte acerca de la deformación del argot académico donde Alejo Vargas y su “exenario” se muestra como fiel representante.

  21. Electrión Says:

    Y lo peor es que la señora se cree diva intelectual…

  22. juglar del zipa Says:

    Electrión:

    Es que lo es. ¡Lo es! En este país lo es.

  23. Mal Ladrón Says:

    Qué desesperado se le ve al tener que admitir eso. Comparto su emoción…

  24. El chico de los Betamáses Says:

    Diva intelectual, ése es el rótulo para esa vieja despreciable. Juglar, por qué no hace una urna en donde se vote por cuál cree uno que es el peor columnista de este miserable país?

  25. juglar del zipa Says:

    Chico:

    No es mala idea. Buscaré el plug-in que haga falta… si alguien tiene idea y de cómo modificar los php de este wordpress, muchas gracias.

  26. Elizabeth Vigee-Lebrun Says:

    Es un poco fuerte decir que María Isabel Rueda es una intelectual y, posteriormente afirmar que en este país si lo es………. todavía me queda esperanza

  27. Electrión Says:

    Hola Juglar… que tal el lujo suyo no? publica un artículo en la edición más polémica y, seguramente, más vendida de la revista SOHO… y yo que llevo un año pasado acá nada…..

    :)

  28. juglar del zipa Says:

    Electrión:

    Pues mientras no me quede en eso… nah… algo más habrá de salir.

  29. Electrión Says:

    Okas…

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    Ya conocen El Remolino?

  31. Salim Paz Says:

    Se me olvidada el enlace: http://www.elremolino.net/

  32. Jaime Ruiz Says:

    Juglar, gracias por participar en mi blog. Yo que soy el más uribista no veo ninguna genialidad sino una jugada acertada, aunque el tema está ya como muy visto.

    El acierto de Uribe es una cosa simple y sin embargo bonita, y no diría que sea su mérito. Es que Andrés Pastrana visto sin pasión ni reproches es eso, un embajador. Para más no da, y pocos en Colombia darían para eso mejor que él, si bien cuenta con la ventaja de ser hijo de presidente (pero todo el mundo saldría con muchas ventajas particulares respecto a otros).

    Respecto a la batalla perdida contra el “habían”, a mí me parece una soberana idiotez. Y perdóneme si se da por aludido. No he visto lo que dice doña María Isabel, pero pensar que porque en contextos populares colombianos predominan vicios como ésos ya no hay nada que hacer es ser muy provinciano.

    Por una parte, ¿a qué emprender una batalla contra el “habían”? Primero habría que AL MENOS desplazar el “hubieron”, la forma más abominable de ese vicio. Pero, ¿es que alguien ha emprendido esa batalla? ¿Han visto los lectores a algún manifestante en la puerta de la casa de un locutor de radio con una pancarta señalándolo por decir “habían”? ¿Alguien se ha propuesto crear un programita de radio con chistes sobre esos vicios, siendo que “sen” (”siéntesen”) o “se los dije” son vicios más horribles aún que “habían” y lo dicen a todas horas personas supuestamente instruidas?

    Es seguir en nada, en no querer entender nada. Como si la escasa instrucción y la escasa lectura (que son todo el problema, pues con lo fea que es la prensa colombiana ese error no se ve) fueran una fatalidad. Pero es que hace cincuenta años la mitad de los colombianos eran analfabetos. Mi propia madre decía “agora” y “vusté”, formas arcaicas que se quedaron en zonas rurales.

    Dar por perdida una batalla por la cultura es un sonoro disparate, es no poder entender que la condición última de cada criatura es ser germen del Buda (no es que yo sea budista, por favor, no se les ocurra pensar eso, sino que esa imagen de los budistas me parece maravillosa). Respecto a la defensa del castellano todo está por hacer, pero hay que empezar a hacerlo.

    Respecto al peor columnista, tengo que citarle el epígrafe de mi otro blog: “El escritor debe ser un detector de mentiras que exponga las falacias en las palabras y los ideales antes de que maten a medio mundo”. ¿El peor columnista es el más asesino o el más torpe? Molano es diez veces mejor escritor que María Isabel Rueda (”la asesina del castellano”, la llamaba yo cuando la leía) pero compite con A. Caballero, D. Samper y algún otro de los amenazados por ser el canalla más hediondo.

  33. juglar del zipa Says:

    Jaime:

    Gracias por pasarse por aquí. Su blog gazzaping es muy bueno y se agradecen sus aclaraciones. Respecto a “¿quién ha hecho algo?”, yo mismo me precio de habérsela montado a Carlos Antonio Vélez hace como… ya cuatro años, cuando oía Planeta Fútbol. Pero por lo visto no sirve de nada si a su lado está el escudero Bocha Jiménez, otro cultista de las letras.

    Mi amigo Dauchoroma y yo estamos en guerra contra el “acordarse que”. O más exactamente y para hacer honor a lo que usted dice, lo odiamos y ya.

    Respecto al peor columnista, sencillamente María Isabel Rueda no debería tener una columna y ya, igual que Poncho o Jartañán. Si quiere, usted o atrabilioso son mejores y más fundamentados uribistas o fascistas -o lo que sea- que ella. Caballero y Samper no me parecen malos columnistas y supongo que usted ya sabe por qué…

    Y hablando de columnistas y de tomar partido, la columna de hoy de Mauricio Pombo me parece muy apropiada.

  34. Jaime Ruiz Says:

    Juglar, sobre eso de “acordarse que” escribí un post en Gazapping hace unos meses.

    Lo que pasa es que la página tiene ese terrible defecto que es que lo primero que uno registra cuando se pone a llenar un blog es lo que más perdido queda para el lector después.

    Por eso tengo que vivir poniendo apéndices a mis blogs, porque la idea de que alguien busca algo que le interesa y no lo encuentra me resulta insoportable.

    Por cierto, quien realmente no debería tener una columna, en mi opinión, es Mauricio Pombo. Una vez salió con el precioso argumento antiamericano de que un manual de instrucciones parecía redactado para idiotas, como si todo el que compra algo fuera un gran lector y tuviera una inteligencia muy notable. Otra vez salió con que el latín era derivado del sánscrito.

    Yo no suponía que usted no hiciera nada, sino que me refería a la frase que cita sobre la batalla perdida. Conozco gente “de las mejores familias” que dice “Déjemen”. Alguien de su entorno dio por perdida la batalla. Los colombianos de hoy en día se expresan espantosamente mal, pero con todo yo creo que lo hacen mejor que sus padres.

    Un saludo.

  35. juglar del zipa Says:

    Ruiz:

    Pombo es chistoso y ya. Pero lo del latín y el sánscrito (que nunca lo he visto en Pombo) sí sería una reverenda estupidez como cuando mi querido C. A. Vélez dijo que el turco era “una de esas lenguas árabes”.

    No creo de que hoy en dia se hable “mejor” que antes. Diferente tal vez, o de manera más ortodoxa. Pero eso tiene que ver con lo que cada uno piense de que es un idioma, sobre la doble articulación del lenguaje en el ser humano y tantas otras cosas.

    Gracias por acordarse este blog.

  36. juglar del zipa Says:

    […] Clasificado bajo: Cine | 43 comentarios »

    Rocket science
    7 de Agosto, 2005

    […]

  37. La Columna (presented by equinoXio) » ¿Qué estará metiendo María Isabel? Says:

    […] Tristemente, Colombia ya está acostumbrada a la mediocridad de "columnistas" como Marcela Monroy Torres, Óscar Collazos o Fernando Londoño Hoyos. Pero definitivamente la que se lleva todos los "honores" es la tinterilla del Rosario María Isabel Rueda, que esta mañana nos obsequió no solamente su mediocridad sino su estupidez. No olvidemos su columna lamesuelas al régimen en Semana. "Memorable" aquella titulada Consejo para un hijo despistado, en la que, a modo de carta, le recomendaba que por nada del mundo escogiera Comunicación Social, entre otras cosas porque la abogacía es una de las pocas profesiones "decentes" (y desde la misma sí es válido ejercer el "oficio" del periodismo). No está de más recordar la polémica que se armó. […]

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